“I want this fire to burn out. Will i be forever furious? forever enraged by my doubts?
I want to step out of this mess we made. But you climbed out on my shoulders and let me stay.
The sun doesnt shine here.
The darkness amplifies fear.
and this hole is filling up with tears.
Yours or mine? What a silly question!
You dont cry for me. And that is todays lesson.”—
“I finally feel like a guy in his 20’s…. which i dont consider a good thing. I spent the last 9 years of my life with an adults mentality. digressing down to the young dude mindset makes me feel like im getting dumber…”—
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forhead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without your hair done. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, “…that’s her.”
find him….and then tear him apart so he never has the audacity to treat a woman that way again.
“… you were the only person who could ever hurt me. i gave you that power. And you took it and made yourself the villain. You betrayed my trust and my love, and made me doubt myself as a person. But i managed.
See, Being the hero of the story requires great struggle, unbearable pain, and major sacrifice. But you die knowing you touched lives. In the end, you mattered.
…another part of being the hero is avoiding the end at all costs, even when you know it will be the greatest thing that will ever happen to you. Cuz being the hero sucks. But fuck you for trying.”—
1). Chicken is delicious. Everyone loves it. And the fried variety is even more so.
2). Its like a meal in every bite. Seriously. you eat twelve of them in no-time, and your full. You can fill up on those things in no time.
3). … and sometimes its not. Sometimes you cant get enough of them. You buy that family sized bag from the grocery store and eat them all… SOLO!
4). They are the ULTIMATE FINGER FOOD! seriously. we love finger foods. When we were kids, we ate everything with our hands. We are tricked into using utensils by our “loving” parents. But french fries and chicken nuggets are the guilty pleasure, the rebellion, we find and forever keep. And while fries die on us after a few minutes, nuggets are good virtually any temperature as long as they are cooked. And they fill us up. Win Win Win.
I am normal. Average. 5’9 150lbs. Not very muscular. Not very pretty (even less now that im sporting a less-than-awesome-scar on my cheek). Im not ugly. im not scrawny. Im just … normal.
once upon a time, i was in a meaningful relationship. 6 years 2 months. We were each others firsts. We argued over what our childrens names would be under the covers as we basked in the afterglow. We had seen each other at our worst. We lifted each other up.
All that Jazz.
she left me because i wasnt capable of giving her a house and kids before she was 30. Not because i was shitty in bed, or a ba boyfriend. Not for fear of me cheating. Not because i was abusive. Or unsupported. She left me because ive been supporting myself since the month i graduated high school, and in that time i hadnt accumulated the cash to afford rent, car upkeep, storage, and enough to pamper her. And even after a promotion and my return to school… its not enough.
she not shallow. Shes the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She just wants something that very few couples in their twenties can obtain. And shes too amazing to diminish her goals.
the hard part is that she only actually broke up with me because she was growing feelings for this… guy. This guy who is an ex of one of her friends. This guy who she has known for years. This guy who i could have made her stop talking to back when our relationship was working (and due to some minor drunken discrepancies, had every right to). This guy who had all the cash and romanticism that being in the army offered. And a guy who for the most part was just a good a person as i am.
Im typing this because she broke up with me a week ago, and then flew out to Washington to be with him at a military Ball that i asked her not to go to when we where together. Im typing this because she has been experiencing all the excitement that is sneaking and living in military barracks that your not supposed to be in for 3 days. Im typing this because its 3 am, Ball night, and i can feel in my bones… inmy balls…. in my heart… that they are fucking right now.