Joseph Gordon Levitt: Hey, um, so uh, you uh, seeing anyone these days?
Neil Patrick Harris: No. No, I'm dating here and there, but, no. No, I'm in a place where I'm enjoying being alone. So, yeah, I'm in a good place. How are you? How are things going with Kim?
Joseph Gordon Levitt: Fantastic!
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah?
Joseph Gordon Levitt: So good. Yeah, yeah. It's so beautiful man, you know when it clicks, and it just feels right, but right in a different way than it's ever felt before. And it’s like my life’s a movie. You know what I mean? Just…It’s just beautiful and feels so great, I just…I couldn’t be happier.
Neil Patrick Harris: You know what? Fuck you, man. I mean, you know I’ve been in a dry spell. I’m so glad that you’re so fuckin’ happy. Thanks for expounding on it.
Joseph Gordon Levitt: I thought you were enjoying being alone.
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah. Really? Who the fuck enjoys being alone? And maybe, maybe in the two weeks after you break up with someone you've been with for ten years, but generally no. That's the kind of thing you say when you know, you're actually miserable about being alone. Geez. Like a movie, huh?
Joseph Gordon Levitt: Alright, I'm sorry I brought it up.
Neil Patrick Harris: No, please, no. I'm so glad that you're enjoying the happy ending movie that is your life. You know what my life's like? You know what love's like for me? A slasher movie. Yeah, where all the happy couples that you know after a certain amount of time, they get miserable, they break up, and they start getting picked off one by one by this masked, lumbering killer that is reality. And, sure, maybe sometimes you might be surprised by who gets the machete next, like 'Oh, wow, I had no idea that they'd kill Matthew Perry. Or fuckin' whatever her name is. They're like the biggest stars in this thing.' But everyone dies in the end. And those that do survive, you know what happens to them in the end? After forty years, they die for real, not metaphorically. Love is a slow, boring, forty year long slasher movie starring Matthew Perry post-Friends.
Joseph Gordon Levitt: That's fucked up man. That's not even honest. Come on, you know you've been in love. It's more like, you know what, if anything, love is like a musical.
Neil Patrick Harris: Oh my god.
Joseph Gordon Levitt: It is, it is, it is! Cause--hold on, hold on, hold on. Yes, the plot is rote, and it's all been done a thousand times before, but what's important is, suddenly you're in this place where the way someone makes you feel turns the world into a stage and you start dancing and singing to everybody for two minutes to tell them about it, and you know, there's fuckin' chimney sweepers flying everywhere, you're floating in the air, it's great. It's beautiful. It feels right. Love is a musical.
Neil Patrick Harris: You are making me ill. Like, the taste of vomit is rising. Are you serious with this shit? If you want to know what popular entertainment love is, it's a presidential election.
Joseph Gordon Levitt: Really?
Neil Patrick Harris: Yes, a presidential election. Where you fool yourself into voting for someone that you know, and that you trust, and that you believe in; someone with your best interest at heart, who won't let you down--when in reality, you're just choosing whose carefully constructed facade of bullshit to swallow.
Joseph Gordon Levitt: Alright, if by facade of bullshit you mean a heightened and altered sense of the world, then sure, love forces you to adjust to those things. But! Like a good science fiction movie, once you buy the bullshit, it gives you the framework for stories that could never have taken place in an ordinary world.
Neil Patrick Harris: Who cares what happens in your world when you've got this cloud of doom, like a disaster movie, hanging over all of it? And you're not even John Cusack, you're like a CG extra in a disaster movie.
Joseph Gordon Levitt: Fine, fine, the world is doomed, but love is like a western. You can whine all you want that they’re building the railroad and our days on the rolling plain are numbered, but if you can’t salvage some romance to savor, then--
Neil Patrick Harris: Sure if you find romance in heartless, empty bitterness then love is a film noir and nobody wins in the end.
Joseph Gordon Levitt: In the end, love is a happy ending.
Neil Patrick Harris: Love is a tragedy
Joseph Gordon Levitt: Love is a joyous comedy.
Neil Patrick Harris: Love is a holocaust documentary.
Joseph Gordon Levitt: Alright no, sure, please I want to hear this one.
Neil Patrick Harris: I got a little carried away on the last one. I’m rescinding it.
Joseph Gordon Levitt: ...
Neil Patrick Harris: ...
Joseph Gordon Levitt: Oh, um, Kim wanted to set you up with that girl from her work.
Neil Patrick Harris: The one with the glasses?
Joseph Gordon Levitt: *nods*
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, alright.
3 days ago
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/ Source: hitrecord.org